i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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