do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
