i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
