She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you had me at cake vodka
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
