Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
