She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
