the condom got lost in my hair
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize