THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
