woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i out mim tonsoeep
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