Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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