you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
