i was born a porn star she said
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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