is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
