Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
