Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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