and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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