Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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