We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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