i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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