Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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