i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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