i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
