Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This is classic penis vs brain.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
