I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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