WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
