Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dude. I can hear the air.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
