You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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