im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
