No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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