not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
