Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
