Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
