This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
