It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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