Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
