Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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