Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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