He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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