Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
