I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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