dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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