She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
