So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
