That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
