I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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