Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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