She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
