Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
