I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
