It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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