just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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