I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
