it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
