I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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