Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
