just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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