some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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