my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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