He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
