Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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