Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
