just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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