I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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