He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
