I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
