She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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